Toyota Tacoma Time Roundup

Who has love for the Toyota Tacoma? According to this months challenge called Toyota Tacoma Time, in spite of my best intentions, it turns out not many of us do. You see, it was one of them weird challenges where everyone builds the same damn thing, but for the love of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph on a pogo stick, they had all better be different. We could have built any year Tacoma,even its precursor, the indestructible Hilux, and thus this offered opportunities for lots of customization. There were not a lot of entries, but as for Jesus, Mary, and Joseph hopping merrily along, they can all take solace in knowing that at least they were all different. Lets show ya what I mean, shall we?

Even if a lot of people dont come to the party, you can always count on Peter Blackert to bring the chips, dip, guacamole, beer, entertainment, music...and strippers. First the chips as represented by this 2013 Toyota Tacoma TRD T|X Baja Edition. Its red and comes with a neat diorama. If Ive said this once, Ill say it a thousand times...its all about the tan bushes. Wait, what?



Next on the Peter slab, he brings the dip...or in this case the yellow and white Disney/Pixar - Toy Story - Pizza Planet Delivery Hilux. The details are awesome, including the Pizza Planet rocket on the roof and the "YO" on the tailgate.



Did someone say kumquats? No? Never say kumquats in Peters presence. But he did bring the guacamole...and also a Toyota Tacoma Double Cab 4x4 Custom with matching yacht and trailer. Our strict automotive rules makes it so you cant build boats...unless said boat is a 72 Buick Riviera or being towed by some sort of car, truck or bike. Then its welcome aboard, sailor! I like boats. Yall should build more. Just sayin.



A friend indeed is the friend that brings the beer. Or also the Toyota Tacoma Single Cab Pickup in dark tan complete with diorama and dark tan bush. Thats cool too. But definitely the beer is essential to any party.



Next Peter brings the entertainment...and nothing is more entertaining than an Aussie building a Captain America inspired Toyota Tacoma monster truck. Guess what. This was precisely what I would have built had I not built a snowplow. No seriously, a monster truck called Captain America was my second choice, but that would have involved opening a rare Technic set for the monster tires and acquiring the stupid Cap America Hero Factory fig for the shield. Almost!



But, as the Highlander says, there can only be one...so thankfully there was only one Toyota FJ cruiser...really a Tacoma in weirder clothing. This would satisfy the music portion of the party analogy, but does it satisfy the need to get everyone on the dance floor? Its like expecting throbbing dance beats and instead somebody brings Slim Whitman.



But strippers make any party so much better...even if said stripper is in the form of a single cab version of the Toyota Tacoma at 1:28 scale. Never in my entire life would I predict Id type the above sentence, but writing the monthly roundups is all about surprises. That and kumquats. And occasionally telling the Lansing Lugnuts to go get bent. Thanks, Peter. Thanks for bringing up that old can of worms.



See, he builds a blue Tacoma and suddenly Im picking a beef with an entire minor league softball team...again. Lino Martins (hey, thats me!)builds a Tacoma snowplow and suddenly I want to skin an Ewok alive. Why? Well, duh! That should be obvious. The color scheme and function of this industrious plow was inspired by the Star Wars Snowspeeder, which makes me realize an Ewok would make a nice handbag.



Pretty obvious now, right? This is why Raphy presents two very obvious choices for his entries. You see, when you have a Toyota Tacoma, youre faced with two very obvious choices. Either make yours into a Baja Racer...or a bunny. I can assure you, many a night of sleep was lost waffling between these two choices. The dilemma can bring a grown-ass man to tears, lemme tell ya.



This quick cartoonish build as rendered by LegoNoitAllMOCs makes me want to punch Howie Mandel in the balls, but that correlation should be so obvious that it doesnt require further explanation. But what confuses me still is; is this builder a "know it all" or a "no it all"? Was that like a misspelling or was it on purpose? Will I ever dislodge my fist from this Pringles can? I think not.



Lastly, Rolic is a man of very few words with his entry. He just tells us its black and lime with a dark red interior. Thats it. So its up to me to come up with the rest. Um...so...heres a question. If you were a hot dog and you were starving, would you eat yourself? I think we all know the answer to that.



So that brings us to the logical conclusion of this roundup. It was short and sweet and thus will give me more time to paint, build, read, walk the dog, or do whatever. Cool. But tune in next month when we go Behind The Iron Curtain in a roundup all about vehicles manufactured or associated with Communist countries. Between current and former Communist regimes, about 30 nations fit the bill so it should be interesting to see how it all turns out. I dont know about you, but Ill be waiting patiently with baited breath.Under the cover of night. And a bear trap. And a pile of leaves. Cuz Howie Mandel would be hard to capture otherwise. Cripes, do I need to explain the obvious to you people?! Anyway, well see ya next time. Take your beer and close the fridge on the way out and tell the stripper I love her.

Read More..

Designing the Ralston Tiger Roundup

Im just gonna come out and say it. I loathe Magic cards and sometimes even the people who play them. Im also not into the Dungeons and Dragons role playing lot, either. I loathe their greasy hair, their pitted complexions, their slouched backs and their rotund bellies protruding out from under billowing piratey shirts. I cant stand their pompous way of speaking...Im a level 14 Paladin with a charmed long sword of Karnath with a mastery level of 42 blabbity blabbity blah. Youll never, ever find me playing such a game where you battle opponents using a meticulously cultivated deck of cards. Never! Ever! Unless, of course, you swap out dwarfs and elves with superheroes, make it as a easy to learn app on your phone and call it Marvel War of Heroes. Then Im in with both thumbs pressing the attack button! And God help the next level 43 Spiderman who thinks he can take me down! I am a level 46 Hulk-Buster Iron Man, goddamnit, and no one can mess with me. AND, I have not, one, not two, but all SIX Swords of Proficiency so yall can just get bent! What? Was it something I said? OK, OK, I know I said Id never play such a game but this is Marvel War of Heroes and...I dont know, they make it seem cool somehow. The charmed long sword of Karnath is waaaaay different from the Emerald Sword of Proficiency. One is dorky, the other is chock full of awesome...theyre not even in the same boat! Plus I get gushy in the pants with anticipation over what new card will I get next. Will it be a super rare(Freedoms Friend)Captain America or an ultra rare(Enemy Inside)Hulk? You just never know. OK, whos the nerd now? Anyway, it seems we have a roundup to do. This one is called Designing the Ralston Tiger...all about designing the...uh...Ralston...Tiger. What is this Ralston Tiger we speak of? Its anything you want it to be. Its a concept vehicle you design from the ground up for the fictitious, yet highly affluent Ralston family. They only require the letter "X" somewhere in the design to honor their great, great grandfather Xavier Ralston...the rest is pretty much up to you. How did we do? lets check it on out, shall we?

Tim Inman shows us all how its done with his rendition of the Ralston Tiger...an orange and black mid-engine super car. Like a real tiger, this Ralston is known for its breath-taking agility and speed. This early in the roundup, I just dont have any jokes about Tim paying for strange. Guess were gonna have to settle to enjoy this awesome car for awhile longer.



Lino Martins takes a page from Tims mid-engine super car design book except its more of a black car with dark orange interior. The seats are attached to the suicide doors for easy egress...probably a first and maybe for good reason. Eerie orange light illuminates from within, which sort of looks like its breathing fire. It spawned jokes that I failed to build a tiger but succeeded at building a dragon.



The design required an "X" and Angka Utama finds a unique solution by making the entire frame in the shape of an "X" with this sleek racer. Xavier Ralston IV mans the helm. Or is it the wheel? Or joystick maybe? Or one of them racing steering wheel thingies thats shaped like a bow tie. What are they called?



Doesnt matter what theyre called cuz Jonathan Derksen builds a Ralston Tiger thats part Deora, part super-car and part spacecraft. It has one seat, one V-12 engine...and thats it. Im pretty sure it can make it across the salt flats in just seconds and from the looks of it can fertilize your girlfriends eggs just as fast. What? Oh, cmon, you cant tell me you werent thinking the same thing! Look at it!



Peter Blackert adds some much needed class to this joint with the Ralston Tigre IV luxury hardtop coupe. Its a...get this,...gas turbine hybrid. That means its jet engine will scare the bejesus outta you and everyone on else within 12 city blocks while its accelerating and recharge its reserves while its idling. And the Ralston family coat-of-arms is a nice touch.



The details may be subtle at first, but Lichtblau exhibits some brilliant parts usage with an all-terrain Tiger. With working suspension and  several Xs hidden throughout, this makes a nice addition to the Ralston line. Even the driver has the X blazoned on his helmet and torso.



Raphys version of the Ralston Tiger comes with sensitive poetry by William Blake...something about Tiger, tiger burning bright and there once was a man from Nantucket...or something. The engine cover sports the family name in script and he challenges us to find the "X". I havent found it. Cool car though.



Many of us were inspired by the real tiger in one way or another. But Rolic takes the challenge very literally and has actually used features from a real tiger to inspire his build. This rugged concept pickup features black and orange stripes, whiskers and a cute red nose. Awww how cute. A tigers cute red nose is the reason many people die at zoos. True story, bro.



Speaking of zoos, Bad Furday returns to building with his rendition of the tiger. The X is very clearly depicted in red, while the rest is Ralstons answer to the Mazda Miata...Sporty, lightweight, and relatively inexpensive to own, as both a trackday car, or a daily driver. I learned that just now when I copy/pasted it.



Christophbrill gets a green place mat and a wrinkled blue sheet as his setting for his Tiger. It fits well in the highly competitive CSCUV (Compact Sport Crossover Utility Vehicle) market with the Ralston Tiger Kub. Nice.



Is that it? I think it is. This was thankfully a short write up, which gives me more time to slaughter Dr. Dooms minions. Plus theres a certain Level 48 Black Widow in New Orleans who could use a swift kick to the jimmy-junk. You know who you are, clownbarf77...if thats your real name. You played that Fatal Beauty stunt on me. Sure I was taken in my your boobies and your black jumpsuit...but did you have to rub it in my face by notably diminishing attack and defense of all my male cards? Its like you knew ahead of time my deck had more dudes in it than a YMCA locker room! And youre probably a sweaty fat dude in real life. Ill get you, my precious! But the fat Hobbit, he knows. Eyes always watching. Wait, what? Lord of the Rings references?! Have I joined the myopic sweaty, unwashed nerdy masses and became a gamer? Or will I redeem my cool status as a hot rodder? Youll just have to stick around for next months roundup to find out. Its called Mad Motor Skills and its all about engines, mostly. Should be fun. Until next time, Im off to find Storms Purple Cape of Improbability. Oh, and Ive got a (Legal Eagle) She-Hulk Im willing to trade for a (Logans Spirit) Wolverine. Anyone? Anyone? Hello?

Read More..